Wind & Sails

*Pull out soap box. (pause) Clear throat--aaaaaand*
Life has been very trying lately, but I haven't let it stress me out--in fact, I try to let it be what it is while finding something to divert my energy towards in a positive way. Very recently, I started writing again, like, really writing--in gluts. It's scary because I remember the sensation of being alive and connected when doing so...like I don't want to go back to sleep. Ideas are finding their way out of my mind and onto paper, or to the ears that need to hear them. I'm starting to let go...and I feel lighter, and better for doing so.

I'm saying all this because I was feeling extra good because I was supposed to spend time with a young lady I've really been feeling lately. She's younger than what I'm used to, by a lot--but I'm looking past that for now. In short, I did something that she didn't like...or feel. I get it, I just don't see it as a big deal. I respect that she didn't like it, and that she feels a way about it, and for that I apologized. But, I can't pretend to be anything other than I am. All this to say--I'm upset because I didn't get to see her tonight. And I'm realizing that I was looking forward to seeing her. So...I guess I like her, but for real for real, tho'.

This week has been really productive, and in the past, this would put a damper on my parade (I guess b/c it's more "fresh" than the rest of the stuff before it). But this is one thing versus many. Hell, we just had a disagreement without being disagreeable (I think). So, even in this, there is good. And that's where I am man...I'm really trying to put things in the proper light. Not sugar coat it, or make it super happy or super sad--but look at things for what they are.

Over the past five years, it has become extremely evident to me that life isn't about the series of ups and downs you encounter, but how you embrace them. A younger me found it extremely easy to be up beat and energetic when times were good, and the down seasons bled into my temperament the same way. At this stage of the game, I believe it's just as important to enumerate your blessings during times of hardship, as it is when times are good. When times are hard--is when you get a chance to break through and see how much you've really learned. It's an opportunity to grow. The other part of it is, you can't allow yourself to forget the lessons once the pendulum swings the other way. If you do, you'll probably find yourself right back where you were. The circumstances ma be different, but in essence, it's the same.

So--I'm getting a little bit of me back. I'm telling a girl I like, "My bad/I respect your position, but here's how I see it/but let's keep perspective"...which isn't always done in the new stages of getting to know some one. I'm writing poetry, songs, and TV episodes (more on this later). I'm finding balance through perspective.
*climb off soap box*