A Mixed Bag (Weekend Review)

So my weekend was a mixed bag. I had a little good, had a little bad. Found out my oldest nephew might repeat a grade (again) despite the fact he’s smart as all outdoors. And I don’t say that because he’s my nephew, I say that because he’s the truth. My dude needs to talk to someone, because right now he’s lashing out, and unfortunately, he’s only hurting himself. It was in thinking of him that I came up with this: We manifest our expectations of self through daily behavior. Everything that does/doesn't make you happy is as you ordered it.

I found this out with a couple of hours to go on Friday @ work. Needless to say, hearing my nephew is selling himself short, hurt and pissed me off. The good aspect was I got to see an old friend that I’ve known since junior high. I haven’t seen Vanja in ages, and even though it was only for an hour or so, it couldn’t have been timelier. It also made it abundantly clear that we still have that vibe. Our humor is very different, yet her humor plays off of mine and vice versa extremely well. Hopefully, it won’t be years before she and I kick it again.

The rest of the weekend was pretty much about spending time with a few nieces, the oldest nephew, baby bro, the homie Lashawn, my sister, her dude, and my cousin Shae…oh, and Nikki Boots, can’t forget Nikki Boots! Essentially bouncing between my house, my sister Traci’s, Shawn’s and back. Watched a couple of movies, had an awesome brunch on Saturday (which, just thinking about, makes me hungry) with all of the aforementioned except Boots. It was a good time to chill and enjoy family pretty much.

Oh, I also had a talk with the nephew on Friday, but I sincerely had to pray before I did. Because I wanted to yell at him, and I knew that wasn’t what he needed, I had to ask for the words. I was direct, honest, and I believe he listened. He has to decide that he really wants to make things right for himself—because he’s…yeah, I’m about to get worked up. I love that kid like he was my own. I just want to see him shine…and I’ll leave it at that.

Wrapped up the weekend with a little Playoff Basketball and some NBA 2K10 with bay’bro. Yeah, the only thing that would make that better is a down ass woman I can vibe with. But I got a prospect, so we’ll see how that turns out.

Hopeful Possibilities

I wait
and I hope
I hope for possibility
and that possibility takes the shape of you
That possibility tastes like you
I hope
that everything I ever wrote
every word I spoke
every love note
leads me to your door step
and that you'll be home for me to deliver this poem
I hope that probability doesn't choose to interfere with possibility
because really we could have done this dance long ago
at a time when I wouldn't have been ready
and at least now
i feel like I'm ready to be ready
my heart beat is steady
my resolve is firm
you were and are the dream girl
what else could I dream of
It's really as simple as me reaching out
and hoping that your hand will also be extended
every word in every sentence in every poem
i meant it
without ever having had a conversation with you
my heart already knew
feet and tongue just wouldn't do what heart and gut told them to
i threw
possibility into the wind
and get back diamonds
clouds with silver linings each revealing lessons that needed to be learned before you could ever turn back to me
this is how it had to be
I had to believe
not just hope
if I was ever to live happily
so I am now one step past hope
in a stance of expectation
waiting to see the culmination of what all this waiting has wrought
how much time with you has it bought?
Because I refuse to believe this was all for naught
Hoping for possibility was nice
but I need something more tangible in life
so I will go with what I feel is right until I know that it ain't
what other picture can I paint?
I simply want to have something real
to feel alive
like times whenever you crossed my line of sight
to wake up to it
to fall asleep with it at night
Possibility is nice
but honey you
will do
just fine

Why DC Mayor Adrian Fenty...Why?!

So, I was watching the news this morning, and Adrian Fenty is at it again. Now, the dude just raised parking meters to $2 an hour, but wants to raise it an additional buck next year on top of 70+ fee hikes the covers everything from speeding tickets, automated traffic enforcement and residential parking fees. DC residents, please get rid of this dude…seriously. Not to mention, his Superintendent of schools fired over 200 DC teachers based on erroneous data. Ms. Rhee thought that teachers average 81K, when it was more like 67K. Based on the 81K, 260 some odd educators were “let go” in anticipation of a budget shortfall. Of like 40 something million. Come to find out, the city has a surplus of 34 million (that’s for schools—we hear money can go missing under the Fenty camp…so we’ll say 14 million surplus just in case). So, if there’s a surplus, why are we increasing parking and parking/traffic enforcement fees?

Feelin' Outta Sorts...

My body has been lunchin’ lately—and I don’t know why. The only thing I can think of is that not getting enough sleep. I’m scheduled to go to the doctor on Monday; which I don’t like, but hey… That’s why we have health insurance. Damn sure been some times when I didn’t have it that I wish I did.

Outside of that, I’ve been writing some songs, but still not a lot of poetry. That’s frustrating, but I can’t complain. There was a definite period of time where there was no inspiration to write at all. Right now, this is how the words are choosing to come to me, so this is what I’m going to roll with.

Ummm, I will also be transitioning all of my journals and blogs to a different service, since blogger is discontinuing their FTP blogging. In English, that means that having a blog that looks like the rest of my site and is a page within my site will likely change within the next couple of weeks. Not happy about it, but it is what it is.

I am ready for this weekend. Hope you have a good one world.

Yep.

Lord Jesus, I have this voice in my heart, but for the life of me, I can’t figure what it’s trying to say. It feels like there’s a scream being muted in me right now. As a result, I’m way more pensive. I wanna figure this out—but I don’t know what “this” is really. I am feeling like parts of me are getting in the way of things. Like I’m stumbling over myself right now. I know clarity is quickly approaching, just want to know all this is about.

On another note, this was a pretty cool weekend, despite my sprinkler dumping a literal puddle in the middle of my office. That killed any Saturday out-and-aboutness that may have occurred. I still got a chance to see fam, watch some sports, connect with a couple of folks and get some business taken care of. Feels like the universe is testing me right now though…I wonder how God would grade my performance. Hmmmm….

Positive of the weekend: I am better learning how to accept the things that I don't like in those I love, and listen to the critiques they may have of me. I will try to curb my inner geek, which may be off-putting to some, although not intended to do so.