Zonin' Out...

Wow...I've been really zonin' out as of late. I've been forgetting there are things I want to check and support, but losing track of time and the days here and there. Fer instance, I was supposed to hit up Shay's party @ Duke City, and completely forgot! My bad, babe. I had been helpin' my folks out, and by the time I got home, I was in a mood to write some stuff down...completely lost track of time. On another note, my EP project still has some steam in it, and I'm actually encouraged still to follow through with this. I've got some nice joints penned down already. But, back to zonin' out, I was seriously considering hittin' up the event with Big sllim, but I forgot about that, too. I've really been cocooning rather hardcoe as of late, so I sometimes forget to get out and interact with folks.
But anyway, what did you folks think of the Super Bowl, or do you not care? I was actually happy that the Bus was able to retire as a Super Bowl Champion, but I wasn't even watching most of the game. I was holding a meeting with some folks that happened to spill right into the Super Bowl, I even missed mot of the commercials. I only saw the 4th quarter pretty much. But, I'm pretty sure most folks knew the Steelers were going to win. I mean, Seattle has a nice offense and all, but, they didn't really have too many battles to get to the Super Bowl, whereas Pittsburg had to fight just to make it into the playoffs, much like my beloved Skins. It's just that our offensive scheme was more stagnant and less aggressive than the Steelers, so, that's why they played Seattle and not Washington. (sigh)
But, ANYWAY, that could spark a debate I'm not EVEN trying to get into. Oh, I made Garfield's favorite dish (some lasagne) this past Sunday, too. It had been a while since I fixed some, but it turned out alrigh, I think. In retrospect, it could have used anothr bag of cheese--probably more mozzarella. It was still good, though. I killed two pieces last night, and it was still good of the reheat action. I actually don't mind cooking, I just hate the cleanup process. Kinda like, I like to do laundry, but hate folding clothes and abhor ironing. But, because I'm somewhat of a neat freak, I can't have dirty dishes in the sink for an extended period of time--it'll bother me. I get that from my moms, who is OCD--as is my father...but he's military, too. I have no choice but to be that way to an extent. One time, my father made me vaccum the carpet in the manner you would mow the lawn, you know, in straight lines, swivel, straight lines...crazy, right?
Anywho, just writing because I needed to...this is a way to remember what's going on with me. I don't like too much space to set in between journal entries, and for some reason a personal journal is too much of a headache to maintain. Which I know is weird, but, this is almost like homework. If I know someone may be watching, I'll be more inclined to do this.
The EP project, though...I'm nervous because I'll be rhyming, but I got some hot bars in there, man...seriously. I don't say that lightly, because my writing when it comes to rhyme is always under a great deal of personal scrutiny, but it really feels good to do this process. I don't have any aspirations to be an emcee, but it's nice to know tht if I worked at it, I mean honestly worked at it, it would be a potentially fruitful and fulfilling endeavor. I wouldn't want to waste my time or the listener's with something that was wack.
Hey, ummm, what the hell is up with gas prices, ya'll. Them joints just went up for no reason at all. There wasn't any justification, and they went up 30 cents, yet nobody really even said anything. I haven't heard anything on the news, and I haven't heard anybody except my father and sister really comment on it. Shit, pretty soon a brotha's gonna have to give blood just to get around for the week. This gas jacking is ridiculous. I mean, c'mon, this has singlehandedly affected how people maintain because nobody is getting raises to offset the sharp increase in gas prices. However, everything has to get somewhere with the use of gas-- food, clothing and produce all need to make it the market with gas. Hiher prices to get it there, so higher prices to buy it. Higher prices for you to get to the store and work, and for what? If gas is so expensive, how come the price for a quart of motor oil remains virtually unchanged? That's also a derivitive of oil...what the hell?
But, I didn't start this entry to get political...just wanted to write something...to be honest, I wasn't sure what that something would be. I just needed to take a moment and breathe through some venting. Still holding on to some heartache. Sometimes it's way too easy to keep it, wy too hard to let it go. I'm just trying to ignore it, like it's some cancer that will go away if you don't pay it any attention. Sometimes I genuinely forget it's there, other time it pops up out of nowhere, just to remind me I haven't healed--that I'm still affected. Even though I'm through it, oer it, past it, beyond it...it's still here, and will continue to be until I can get myself back to the speed of life. Easier said than done, I know, but i'm working towards that in a round about way. Right now, I'm just working through the day without any real expectations, just to appreciate being alive for that day and to do something that makes me feel as if I've earned my life for the day so to speak.
It's not easy when you allow yourself to build your hopes on a shaky foundation, and it crumbles all of a sudden on you. You can't do anything until you address the foundation first; sometimes that's the main thing you want to overlook. Too bad that never works for the long haul. So, to go with the foundation metaphor, I'm filling in the empty spaces with realistic material this time...not filler. We'll see how it hold up this time. Sometimes you have to lose something to build something better in it's place. Perhaps this is yet another instance of that.
iTunes rocks, if you don't have it and are using something like Windows Media Player, stop robbing yourself and go to apple.com and download a free copy of iTunes. Treat your music well, and it will return the favor tenfold. I'm almost at 7,000 songs in my library (legally), and damn near every LP I love is a couple of clicks away. But the gangsta part is the playlist aspect, which allows me to play music based upon a particular artist, genre(s) of music, time frame, etc. That's the reason why I reviewed Stevie Wonder this month on illpoets.com (I was going to review Little Brother). Okay, I'm good for now, I think...hmmmm, damn, I don't know...but I'm cool, at least. Alright, ya'll, I'll holla.
One.