Worst Movie EVER!

Okay, so let me tell you about the worst piece of film I’ve seen in the last five years or so. Now, I realize this was an Arabesque/ BET films production, but even that couldn’t have prepared me for the garbage I endured. Also, as a disclaimer, even when a movie is utterly horrid, as this film was, I still will often watch it all the way through. Part of me likes the punishment I guess, while the other part of me wants to find something redeeming about the movie. No such fortune with this piece of $#!+ movie, Midnight Blue.
Plot: The story is a romantic comedy that primarily focuses around two brothers with different perspectives on life, trying to save the family business, a national cosmetics enterprise on the brink of folding. The plot starts off with Tom, who is the “playboy”, who is trying to smash off this fine ass chick, Nicki. Eventually, Nicki winds up seeing the picture of Tom with his girlfriend (played by Angelle Brooks, who is fine and could get it. Shorty was phat as a mu’fu…whoo!) and leaves in an angry huff. As he gives chase, said girlfriend sees the aftermath and smacks ole boy in the face. As we go to the family business HQ, it turns out that Nicki is an accountant at the family business, and his girlfriend is a senior officer. Real smart beginning, huh? The other brother, Luke, naturally, is the older, smarter and more responsible of the two siblings, who wants to make sure this next product release is successful, as it’s the family businesses last chance to stay afloat. The family business has put their last resources into the marketing campaign for a men’s cologne called blue noir, which is supposed to drive women wild. The only problem is they need $500k for the campaign and only have $300k.
Apparently, there is also a jaded lover of brother ‘A’, who wants to make the brother suffer for betraying her love. They make it clear that this jilted lover has a lot of money as she sits on a houseboat with a punkl ass man-servant (who actually used to be in Robert Townsend’s Partner’s in Crime joints on HBO and Hollywood Shuffle). SO, said angry woman proceeds to set this younger brother up in a card game, where dudes LITERALLY handed cards across the table. Shade, this movie was not. Mind you, the dumb ass brother actually stole the money to bet in the card game from his family’s company in hopes of getting the family’s business out of dire straights. Of course he loses the money ($50k), and then forges his brothers name on promissory notes, unknowingly giving 40% of the company to angry ex-lover chick when he doesn’t have enough to pay off his debt. She then miraculously arranges for the father of the two boys, who is beginning to suffer from alzheimers or PTSD to meet up with this bad chocolate chick in the cemetery. Son macks this broad in the cemetery and winds up having her stay over for the night. She then proceeds to fuck the father to death, and calls right after to let ole girl know her mission was complete. I mean why not choke him, or poison his ass, that’s how you kill someone? Still there folks, wait a minute longer, it gets worse.
Eventually, the fake player brother breaks up with his girlfriend because she found some draws in his couch. Two days later, she winds up falling for the other brother. A little bit later, she follows a hunch and follows Nicki, who has been acting strange by shoving key financial documents In her purse and running off. Finally, she pursues Nicki to a pier and plays James Bond. Do you know this broad broke out some binoculars like she just walks around with them joints…what, this broad a bird watcher or something?! She then calls the older brother (on a phone that looked like a cordless phone, not a cell), as she walks on to a houseboat she don’t own looking for the fifty thousand her ex lost. Here’s where the dumb shit got outrageous!!! The older brother shows up in an attempts to help her find the briefcase, because if it’s money, then it has to be in a briefcase, right? Right. In their search, they turn up a list that cites fives steps to humiliating and destroying dudes brother, one of the steps being “kill his father”. They seem completely unfazed by this list and keep looking for the $50k. They wind up looking in the refrigerator, where the woman finds strawberries and cream and starts eating them. Dude gets turned on, and they bone in the crib! And then they stay the night! I mean they were using fruit and spilling champaigne n’shit…! Now I’m sorry, but if you are trying to rob somebody who robbed you, who has written evidence of murdering your father, the last thing you should do is fuck in their crib. Maybe fuck up their crib, but not in it!
At this point, I won’t even tell you the absurdity that was the ending, as you’ll have to see that for yourself. Now admittedly, there were a couple, and I mean it, two funny moments in the movie. On top of that, all the women, save for the angry jilted lover were fine as hell. However, I found it interesting that the two villains that were women were dark skinned, while the the rest of the women were more “fair- skinned”. Even the extras, like waitresses were bad in this joint, but they all seemed like the same type. Shorty that took out he father was diesel, though. She must have been a dancer because her legs were all like…pow, ping…and this was still a terrible movie.

PS- Here’s another unseen ditty from the files of Lee the Poet

Fear

Fear of letting you in
Fear of letting my emotions out
Fear of losing you
Fear of the pain that will ensue
Fear of the unknown
Fear of being alone
Fear of this house never being a home
This is what I wrestle with in my moments of silence
This what I wrap myself up in before I go to sleep
You wonder why I never need a blanket
It’s because the heat from this fear is oppressive
Disorderly compulsions obsessive
Fear of my own strengths
Because sticking to strengths is an indirect admission of having weaknesses
Fear of not being able to touch on my terms
Fear of what is or is not to come
An ill developed socially challenged child who managed to graduate
Diploma and degree in hand
“You can go play with the rest of the adults now, boy”
“Hey, tuck in that insecurity mister!”
“Where are you going with those phobias untied?”
“Were your fears like that before you played with them young man? How many times have I told you to put those fears back where you found them when you’re done?”
“For the last time, when you’re carrying your fears, you are not to run?”
When there’s fear
Don’t run
Don’t run
When there’s fear
I guess that’s why I’m here
Exposing these fears in invisible ink for everything I hold dear
Your smile
My mother
Her embrace
His wisdom
My sanity
Discarding vanity
Realizing the obvious that was there all along
One of the most courageous actions you can commit
Is to admit to yourself you’re afraid…
…and deal with it