This exit looks good...(TMI)

***Warning: This entry uses metaphor and sound effects to denote certain graphic bodily functions, read at your own risk**
Ha, so let's skip past my nephew's basketball game and jump to where I had the chicken and garlic pizza at Uno's that was extra cheesey. Let's pause at the part where I thought to myself, "I'm going to pay for this later". Now, let's fast forward to when I have to drive up to Baltimore by 7:30 for a feature at Ad-Lib's spot, Porter's Coffee House. It's roughly 6:45 when I call Lynn asking where she and her homegirl Tinisha are (my bad for maiming your name boo, but I get mad phonic when I can't think of how to spell something). Lynn tells me she's right around the corner but she needs to stop @ the CVS.
Cool, I can double check and make sure my "system" is in order before I head downstairs. Okay, evrything is cool I guess. I go to warm up the truck. Lynn pulls up and says she wants to get her camera out of my crib. (sigh) I reluctantly go get it as it's almost 7 now, and I really don't feel like speeding. I go back inside and (psssssssssssssssttt)...whew, glad nobody is here to catch that, oh, wow, that's just awful. Camera. check. Let's go. Call Ad-Lib to let him know I'm enroute just after receiving calls from Mood and Takia back to back. I assure him cats are indeed on their way and will be arriving a different times and I'll be there as close to 7:30 as possible. Once I'm on 495, I see that traffic is rather thick.
BUBBLE (that would be my stomach folks).
settle
BUBBLE
settle
BUBBLEBUBBLE.
Okay, I get on the shoulder and let the ladies know we're making a slight detour here because I know there's a gas station just off of exit 15.
Pull up to the gas station and rush inside...toilet paper...check. Toilet, usable and in decent condition...check...soap...check. Okay, let's rock.
(Censored)
Wash hands and go back outside and linger, as this is a multi part ordeal. Ooops, run back....
(Censored)
Okay, I think I'm good. Let's go. 95 north and I'm moving when...BUBBLE...sigh. Okay, I'm going to exit 35A here because my sister used to live off this exit and I know there's a gas station off of it. Get to the gas station and the conditions are much better.
(Censored)
Ugh...I hope to God I don't have to see a roll of toilet paper again tonight.
Get to Porter's sometime after 9 and are greeted by the Dri Fish and Native Son shortly thereafter. Eventually, tummy stops quaking and I can enjoy the ambiance of said quain little spot. 13, Mood and myself killed it...royally. I didn't make any sales that night, but cats who actually stayed and heard us loved us. Left Porter's after 12 to head to my boy Jumand's crib to check him and my boy Julian out. Got back to my crib around three I think, maybe it was 2:30?
(sigh) No more Uno's for me, I'm good.
PS- The journal was supposed to auto post an entry that informed folks about the feature, although I believe I put it on the illpoets.com calendar. Since it didn't post by itself, here ya go:
Does any one find the term soft porn hysterically ironic, or is it just me?

Oh, if you're going to be in the baltimore area, check representatives from the illpoets.com collective this Saturday:

Porters Coffee House.
771 Washington Blvd. Baltimore, MD

Every 2nd Saturday of the month.......From 8-11 pm with
"State of the Art" hosted by Ad Lib.
Enjoy poetry, music and a buffet for $10 per person. The webpage is www.porterscoffeehouse.com for detailed directions.

PPS- Check this play out if you have the time, I've seen it 3 times already, Free Jujube Brown!