You know it's Christmas when...

1. You start seeing commercials that tell you what a great gift a new Chia Pet would be.
          Personally, I think this is a wonderful way to tell somebody how little you care for them.
2. You start seeing clapper commercials.
          People must buy a decent amount of these during the Holiday's for them to advertise only during the Christmas holiday season.
3. Apparantly, one of the new things that they're pumping hardcore this year is getting "that special someone" a diamond ring.
          Guess what finger I'm holding up for those commercials?
4. Also, I've seen at least three different automobile companies with the not-so-original commercial where a person gets a frickin' car wrapped in a bow for...you guessed it, "that special someone". Not just any cars, I saw ones for Lexus, Mercedes Benz and Jaguar. One commercial even went so far as to have the car in their living room in front of the tree. Ummmm, how can you pull a fuckin' car into your house without your spouse being any the wiser. I'm going to be surprised how you got that puppy through the door, because you have to hear a car being pulled into your house, man. If not, oh, you're getting robbed on New Years fo' sho!
          A car? A car you typically but out of neccessity, not because it'd make an awesome stocking stuffer. The hell?! A car?! Oh, if I'm buying a car for Christmas, you better be getting me a really nice gift...and a whole lot of kinky shit for the next month! A car...mu'fucka please!
5. What's with the chocolate commercials that stress they're the official chocolate of Christmas? Wow, what does chocolate have to do with Jesus? Are you saying that Jesus endorses your chocolate?
          The holiday merchandising is getting way too out there for me. I'm sorry, but buy diamonds and Jaguars for Christmas, a little much. Just sayin'.