Who writes this stuff...?

So I was watching a bit of television this past holiday weekend, when
one of the dumbest commercials to ever be aired came on-- twice! It
went like this: "If you or somebody you know has commited suicide, or
attempted suicide, then call this number!"
"...sounds like a horrible movie, where hoestly, I wish I was making
this up. But honestly, I'm not." ~ 13 of Nazareth from one of the
hottest poems like, EVER, "Happy Anniversary"