You Be the Judge...

Welcome to another edition of, "How to Make an Ass of Yourself" Okay ladies and gents, this is a real life situation, so a few things you should know.
1. Names of people and institutions have been changed
2. My address and personal information has been replaced with "(---)"...ya'll don't need to know all that.

Tell me what you think on the message/bored.

Scenario: I wrote a letter to support a phone message I left only minutes before, as to have something in writing. I had not been getting any satisfactory responses regarding the issues outlined in my letter. I wrote a letter, ole boy wrote back trying to be fly and sound intellectual, and I fired back murdering every point he made. Folks be acting like a dude can't have command over the english language n'shit...like they the only ones who can speak intelimagently...n'shit. So, here goes...enjoy, and let me know your thoughts....
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Greetings,
I recently settled on one of the condo units in building (---). Since settling, the joys of homeownership have been rewarding, but, there are some problems that need to be addressed in an expeditious manner. I've decided to email you today for a number of reasons. The first of which is, I have yet to receive a welcome letter or a notice for payment regarding my November condo fees. I find it hard to believe that you have not yet received the necessary information to proceed with getting me my welcome letter. It is my understanding that certain title information is needed before a welcome letter is sent, which leads me to ask, "If you haven't received the necessary information yet, what are you doing to rectify the situation?" Not receiving this letter also means I have not been put in the call box, so, if The Management Company really hasn't received the data they need, then they need to be more proactive in getting it.
Secondly, upon settlement, I did not receive a key to the storage space in lower level of my building. No matter what circumstance has caused me to be without a key to that space, it is The Management Company 's duty to get me a key to that space in a timely fashion. It has been a month since I settled and I have yet to receive a key from your management company. This is unacceptable and can not continue without serious questions of professionalism about The Management Company 's business practices arising. I had asked more than two weeks ago for a key, and was told that The Management Company didn't have any keys for the lower level when The Management Company assumed management duties for (---). However, as manager's of the facilities, it is The Management Company 's duty to obtain those keys. As management, I'm sure a locksmith could have been scheduled to fix this situation in the time you've known that The Management Company does not have keys to the storage space in my building.
Which leads me to my third point: If condo fees are paid by condo owners for specific right and privileges granted on the grounds of (---), should I not pay less for condo fees until this situation is rectified? Not being provided my key in a timely manner is the same as denying me my right to the space allotted to me that I have paid for. In essence, it seems foolish to pay in full for something I only have in part. It is my sincere hope that these issues can be quickly resolved by weeks end.
Sincerely,
H. J. Lee Bennett, III
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I hate to see us get started on the wrong foot, but I must explain that we are the keepers of the official records. It is not our responsibility to seek-out home owners. The law is clear; it is the SELLER'S responsibility to provide transfer documentation. As a practical matter, it is the settlement firm who usually sends the settlement statement. If you are concerned, as well you should be, call them. I cannot merely take your word that you are an owner and begin giving you access to the building or storage rooms. That's a security issue. Provide the settlement statement and you will receive what is due you. Don't provide it and we'll commence collection actions which will ultimately result in a civil judgment against you with possible foreclosure of the real estate. This is the 3rd time you've been told. The situation will not change because it's not up to us to circumvent the legal process. One of the things due you is to have your name in the PACH phone system. We'll take care of that right after you respond to our welcome letter and information sheet. In case it is still not clear, we will not be "proactive" in getting the information.
Would you please provide me with a key to my home? What, you don't have one from which to duplicate the extra? What will you do? That's the position I'm in. My employer is your association and your board of directors. I've asked for two solid years to have a set of storage room keys. I've received keys to all three rooms in 4 buildings. I have not received any for your building. I have no keys from which to duplicate one for you. Your seller should have provided a key to you. I'll email the board again, but I suspect I won't get a response as they, themselves, have no keys and will, I presume, take the position that you should have gotten one from your seller. Maybe you could obtain a key from a neighbor and have it duplicated. I would gladly reimburse the cost of duplication if you provide me with an extra, too. One final reminder; if I had a key, I would not give it to you until you provided a settlement statement and completed our questionnaire.
As for the dues, as long as you live in the premises, use the water, ride in the elevator, drive on the parking lot, walk in the halls and take shelter under the roof, you should pay your condo dues. But, that will be your call. Frankly, my office has spent enough time explaining this to you that we are happy to accept your payments or commence legal action. I do consider myself professional and I know my staff does what it can, but we are not capable of snatching a key from thin air. If that makes us unprofessional, so be it. When my employer knows I need something and fails to deliver it, I am not responsible for the consequences.
Robert Majors
The Management Company
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First allow me to clarify, if you are indeed truly concerned with developing a positive relationship, threatening me is definitely the right way to get off on the “wrong foot”. I never implied I would not pay my condo dues. In fact, I asked you to provide me with the necessary documentation so I could promptly pay my November dues. If you choose to quote, or in this case paraphrase me, I simply request that you do so accurately. What I did say is, perhaps it would be prudent to prorate my condo dues because I've been done a disservice. You yourself said (on my answering machine) that the storage space is included in my monthly dues, so, whatever that amount is should be taken off my dues until this matter has been! resolved. If storage space is $15 of the $162.50 of my dues, would it not be good practice to refund my money for something we both know I don't have access to? Furthermore, I didn't receive a key to the storage space at settlement because the previous owner never had one. In fact, I didn't know that storage space had been allotted for my unit in the building until shortly after I moved in.
Lastly, I was told that you were expecting the settlement letter, and after it was received I would receive paperwork, etc. from The Management Company. The question of good business practice or professionalism, whichever you choose to call it, comes into play when something like not having a key for two years has not been rectified by The Management Company. An issue where you haven't received settlement documentation, when I've received documentation of my Title Insurance just seems a bit odd to me. Please also understand that I never mad! e any reference to your staff in a negative light. I referenced The Receptionist for documentation purposes, but, for the most part, The Receptionist has been polite and professional when responding to my questions or requests.
Now, I'm looking at this from a logical perspective, where as it seems to me you have a bit of disdain in your voice towards me for asking for what is rightfully mine. Now, I'll admit, a security issue is definitely a legitimate reason for some of what you've said. However, if someone were in my building for a month and I hadn't received paperwork that allows me to bill them for their monthly responsibilities (dues), I would indeed be more proactive in resolving this matter. Again, this seems like logic to me, but, business practice may dictate otherwise. I do know that it is rude and tactless to threaten me with civil actions when I've done or said nothing wrong. I've withheld nothing, nor have I expressed a! ny intent to do so. This once again brings up the question of professionalism. If you'd like to respond to this letter, or simply to contact me during business hours, my work number is (---).
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He basically fired back with a salty letter, being petty because he needed to have the last word…thusly, further playing himself.

Yes, Mr. Bennett, you did threaten not to pay your dues. You made a passive-aggressive comment, which you have nearly repeated in this email, implying that you should not be required to pay your dues if you don’t receive full services. I’m done dealing with that. You’ll do what you must do.
On Friday, after I made it clear that you would not be recognized as an owner, you forwarded the settlement sheet. Within minutes, your welcome letter was prepared and mailed with the information sheet. Your account has been established and is ready for payment application. Upon receipt of the information sheet, I will enter your name in the entry system. Upon receipt of a master key from anyone, I will duplicate a key to the storage facility. There is a nominal charge for the keys; I’ll let you know what it is at that time.
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Come to find out…all he needed to do was call the settlement company. It took less than five minutes, ya’ll. Now, cast your votes…who’s the ass. Me or Him? Cast your votes and place your commentary on the message/bored today!