Why do I have this chick I don’t even know askin’ me to get her breakfast for her when I see her. Granted, she’s only done it twice, but damn, twice is two times too many if I don’t even know your name. See, where I work, there are two buildings which are connected, the north building and the south building. I work in the north building. To avoid freezin my nads off in the morning, I cut through the south building and take the elevator to the lobby. This way, all I have to do is walk a couple of steps to get to the grill next door. Said chick, is a receptionist, who barely speaks to me mind you. Today she asked for a bacon and cheese croissant and any type of juice…just no orange juice or anything with acid. Now, had she offered to pay for my measly croissant seeing as tho’ I was doing the footwork, I’d have been cool. Not saying I would have necessarily accepted, but she could have at least offered. Shorty offered no such thing. This is why chivalry is almost dead, because women often assume too much with little to no reciprocity. Why hold the door for someone who doesn’t have the decency to say thank you?
Me being the nice guy I am, I did the deed with only a little bit of attitude, trying to hint that shit could get ugly if you keep askin’ me. Shorty ain’t never seen me hungry and tired, and she’s bound to catch me on a bad day if she continues to follow the inclination to ask me to get her pork and cheese croissants. I don’t even eat pork, it’s like askin’ a vegetarian to order beef stew. Dude, ewww. I’m not feelin’ that, cuz, at all. I think it has more to do with the fact that I don’t know her. She doesn’t even say, “Hi, Lee…” She says, “Hey, you goin’ downstairs to get something to eat?” Then, she proceeds to start writing on a post- it. Dog, anything you got to write a list for, ain’t getting done. Sorry, find some other flunky for that shit. Wait a minute…how mentally challenged do you think I am if you’re going to write down an bacon and cheese croissant and a juice?! The fuck?!?! Aww, that’s it! Shorty gets no love for that. The audacity…!
Anyways…
Can I just say, God is good. Nothing will bring a smile to my face faster than a fine sister with a phat ass, boy! Call me a misogynist all you want, but hey…! This sister got on the elevator with just…ass…for days, man. Whooo! Had me grinnin’ from ear to ear when I got off. I don’t care what the bible says, woman was not an after thought, man. Ain’t nothin’ like sistas in the world, man.
“Good Lawd, the Lord is my shepherd, he know what I want! Mrs. Parker…Mrs. Parker…!” ~Bernie Mac in Friday