Get this, I got sent to a collection agency a while back over an unpaid medical bill. Dig: The bill was $500.00+ and was incurred when I was unemployed. Due to not getting regular payments in unemployment benefits (Long story), I paid when I could. Shit, I had a $1,000 in rent, $220 in car insurance, plus utilities and gas for my whip. Virginia Hospital Center wasn’t my highest priority. Not really one to owe people, I would pay way more than the minimum balance when I had it. Minimum balance was like $20, I’d made an $80 and a $50 payment, and one other payment to put me right @ $300. Cool, I’m ahead of the curve, right? Nope. My inexperienced ass didn’t know that at a minimum, they want that minimum payment every month. That’s how I got sent to collections.
Fast Forward to now. I have to call these cats on two different occassions to ask them to send me a balance of my account. This chick, Kim Taylor(if that is her real name), is talkin’ ‘bout she can’t do that, her company isn’t concerned with billing me. They just collect. The “customer” should keep their own records. But, she wants to know where I work and if I’m single. Shiit! Ya’ll can’t send me a balance notice so I can pay my bills in a timely manner, but you want me to help you out?! Then she was tryin’ to get me to pay everything at once. Granted, I could if I wanted to, the balance is only $147.50 (according to her), but seeing as tho’ the guy who set up my payment plan was an asshole, I figured I’d reciprocate.
Ol’ Boy: Okay, I’m going to set you up with a payment plan of $30.50 per month until your $300 debt is eliinated.
Unemployed Lee: Why can’t it just be $30.oo per month, why $30.50
Ol’ Boy: Because $30.50 is more distinctive and because that’s what I want you to pay each month. That extra .50 gets you out of debt faster, and you’ll remember the $30.50 easier.
Gee, how nice of him to tell me what I will and won't remember…
Unemployed Lee: My last bill was $20 a month because I was unemployed, and I don’t have a lot of money right now. Why can’t it be like that?
Ol Boy: Because that’s what I’m offering you. You either take the $30.50 or pay the bill in full now.
Unemployed Lee: I just told you I don’t have the money to pay it all.
Blah blah blah, more smart remarks from ol boy.
So Kim, now you want your money on some, “Fuck you, pay me", huh? “Fuck you, bill me!” What type of asinine shit is that where I pay you without a bill? My American Express don’t work that way, I never ate at a restaurant that did that. Think I’m on some programmed drone, shit, huh? Aight, playgirl, ya’ll get paid when I get a bill. And you better not try to fuck with my credit because it’s squeaky clean. So Kim asks me when she could expect me to pay in full. I told her whenever I finish my minimum payments. Then she tried to sulk, talkin’ ‘bout, We don’t have you in the system fully, so we don’t know what type of payment plan you discussed. Shit, it was on all those bills you used to send. Wheredatat now, huh? Long and short of it is, she says that she’ll send a bill one last time, and after that they won’t send one unless the computer automatically sends one. So, I guess the computer just sends stuff arbitrarily, huh? Sounds to me like this company is flawed in the documentation department. So if neccesary, I’ll just call next month for my bill to be sent again. The way things are looking, they won’t have this last interaction “in the system”. Sheesh, how is the collection agency more ghetto than the folks they collect from?
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